The Mind of a Cat Doctor

THINGS CLIENTS BOUGHT ME FOR CHRISTMAS:



1. Chia Cat. This is from a client that owns a matted cat.



2. This tattoo. Guess where?



3. This pair of glasses was given to me by a client who's cat is named "Elvis".



4. My self-portrait. Thanks, Dr. Runte!



5. This client gave me a portrait of himself. Awwww...



6. This attack cat. Dr. Filip re-gifted me this one.



7. A girlfriend!



8. Willie drew this for me. Thanks, man.



9. A nice man with a cat named "Kennedy" gave me this photo of the next President of the United States.

Pop Art by Andy Warhol...Love it!

MY TICKET TO HEAVEN

Today, I did my good deed for the Holiday Season. I went out to the Dubuque Humane Society to perform physical exams on adoptable animals and spent some time consulting with the director about their facility. The shelter is really one of the best I've been to. In fact, at one point, I believe they were nationally ranked as one of the best built in the country. This wasn't so 15 years ago, but since then, the renovations have been amazing.

I worked mostly with the cat population. Their numbers are way up and the shelter is having a hard time housing this explosion of strays. My aim was to be able to recognize potential contagious diseases and provide a sound treatment regimen that would eradicate the problem quickly and as cheaply as possible. Suprisingly, many of these cats were in pretty good condition. A couple had mild upper respiratory infections, a few had ear infections or ear mites, and only one had visible tapeworms. I groomed one cat with severe matting around her neck.

I talked to the director about what treatments work best for common shelter conditions such as skin disease, ear infections, and upper respiratory infections. I made some general shelter recommendations and then asked how often do local vets come up to do some of the things I did today. She said never. It's sad that they don't have more local veterinary support other than low-cost spays and neuters. I believe it's because veterinarians just like most members of the public don't want to hear about or see shelter operations because it depressees them. Plus, shelter medicine is a 2-week rotation in vet school, so it's hard for students to realize the magnitude of the problem and the medicine that is practiced in this type of environment.

The director and I then focused on "no-kill shelters", and how the public is so misled about how these shelters operate. These shelters accept only very healthy animals, those in which the staff believe are most adoptable, and often turn down older animals they would have a hard time adopting out. So, what happens to dogs and cats that don't get adopted there? They are either shipped to kill shelters to be euthanized or are kept in cages all of the time. Some of these animals will literally go insane and constantly pace around their enclosures without much sleep.

I told the director that I envied her for the job she has done with the shelter, and told her that I wouldn't have it in me to do what she does for a living. In all, I had a really good experience, and I believe some good will come out of what was accomplished today. Go me!

HOPE YOU ALL BEAT THE CROWDS TODAY AT THE RETURN/EXCHANGE COUNTERS!

Take care,
Dr. C

Ho! Ho! Ho!

It's 34 degrees and drizzling. Is this Heaven? No, it's Iowa.

I'm on vacation, and I know that the Cat Clinic is missing me. Especially Willie.

My mom warned me about the "bad traffic" in Dubuque before we ventured out to do a little Christmas shopping. Well, after battling traffic in Houston the past few years, I was curious to find out what "bad traffic" was in Dubuque, Iowa. There is no traffic. There were front-row parking spots everywhere we went. We didn't wait in line, we had access to hundreds of shopping carts, and the Best Buy was really cute.

So there's a candy shop named "Betty Jane's Candies" in Dubuque. They make Gremlins, which are similar to Turtles, but only ten times better. You can buy them online at www.bettyjanescandies.com. Careful, they're addicting. In fact, Dubuque has a local chapter of Gremlins Anonymous. 50,000 members. Most are missing teeth and unless they exercise 30 hrs a day, many have Gremlin bellies. There's even a Gremlin black market that is active when Betty Jane's has run out of Gremlins. I've seen them being sold for $600 per pound on e-bay.

My parent's dog Gracie has learned to hump me. Awesome. There's nothing better than a Wheaten Terrier scratching your leg asking for permission to take advantage of you. Sadly, I declined her offer and complained about her behavior to my mom, who could have cared less. She was too busy baking stuff for us to throw up after drinking too much wine.

Anyway, I hope everyone at the Cat Clinic (including my charming clientele) has a Happy Holidays and a great New Year! I'll be back before the New Year to help ailing kitties all over Houston. Come visit!

Love, Dr. C

CH-CH-CH-CHANGES

Dr. Runte is in the early stages of planning the remodeling of 2125 and 2121 W. Alabama St. The boss-woman wants to utilize the building next door more. Right now the building next door serves as the surgical suite. It also houses the grief room, Dr. Runte's and Dr. Filip's offices, the dental suite, a handicap-accessible bathroom, and a sun room with boarding suites. We have transplanted one of the receptionists next door for food-only sales and eventally we will add a pharmacy.

WHAT WOULD I DO IF I WAS IN CHARGE OF RENOVATING THE CLINIC?

1. Add a Starbucks drive-thru. 700 Calories for only $8.99!

2. Put a huge flat-screen in the waiting area that plays "The Cat Vet Clinic Bloopers". Many of these videos will feature shooting anal glands, crazy urinations, poop messes, cat attacks, cool squirting abscesses, and microwaved cat food disasters.

3. Place a disco ball in the boarding room. So I can put on my-my-my-my boogie shoes!

4. Build an underground connecting tunnel between the two buildings. with 3 feet of water that you Sea-Doo over. With flashing lights and Bee Gees music.

5. Shape both buidings so they resemble large cats. That are fighting and scratching the couch. And peeing in the corner.

6. Shag carpet.

7. Add a stress-ball dispensing machine in the waiting room. Adult beverages upon request, but only if your cat is over 21.

8. Valet service. It saves you 15 seconds. It will give you more time to gush about your cat.

Well, what do you think? Any other ideas?